Who I am v.s Who i want to be
*Warning:
Contents of this post will probably cause you to judge/side eye me**
As a teenager i feel like there is always the battle:
Who you are V.S who you aspire/want to be.
I would love to be “that chick”. Pastel hair, legs longer than the
rest of my body, slim/fit, awesome style (aka always looking like i just
came out of an urban outfitters ad or American Apparel), awesome music
taste, and always just calm and cool, not obnoxiously loud and goofy.
okay.. so honestly, im just describing tumblr hipster but yeah, thats
who I want to be.
So whats stopping me? Other than the obvious
my-legs-will-never-be-longer-than-the-rest-of-my-body-because-i-was-just-not-that-fortunate-with-my-anatomy.
Why dont i just loose the weight? Choose better clothes? Dye my hair? Try and contain my loudness?
I have two excuses:
1) Ive tried. In the depths of my closet I have those hipster clothes
that id LOVE to wear but i dont. It’s just not me. (Its who i want to
be.. see wat i did thur?) In fact in the morning i put them on and right
before im about to head out the door i change into jeans and a basic t
shirt. And there are some things i just cant change. Like my personality
and music taste. I cant help that i’m extremely emphatic, or that quite
often im bitchy.. no i could help that but i choose not to i get super
pissy when i do. and I cant help that my general music taste consists of
musicals…
2) See one. Kind of. It just doesnt look right and i feel very
limited. I live in a small town and im around the same people day in and
day out. I feel so boxed in to staying who i currently am. I want to
loose weight people tell me OH YOUR FINE THE WAY YOU ARE. I want to dye
my hair? OH DONT DO THAT! I wear a skirt “OH MY GOSH THE APOCALYPSE”
But honestly, why does that stop me? It shouldnt and i know that but
its so difficult trying to change an image ive created in the past 15
years.
Well Enough of this shit. Im going to. No more of these basic shirts,
no more feeling fat days, Anyone can look the way i do - its basic, It
takes effort to look a way and i want to. Fuck this.
Start with the
look. I will probably never be the epitome of cool but at least i can
look the way i want.
Love
-A Bunny With Motivation To Change
Awwww don't be too hard on yourself! Be yourself and aim for your goals beautiful! ♥
ReplyDeleteIm just so tired of being average.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, i will work hard!
Wow, reading this, I feel like we are so similar!! For a long time I felt I was so far from who I wanted to be, and not knowing how to get there. I’ve also gone through the stage of having lots of clothes thinking they will give me that Urban Outfitters or AA look (I bought so much from AA!), but found that they didn’t suit me or worse, I didn’t know how to wear them so that they looked good! I think the best thing you can do for yourself is become objective. Don’t overly criticise yourself, but also don’t get too inflated by compliments either. I mean just saying ‘who I am vs who I want to be’ is overly critical. The fact that you like a particular style means that it’s already a part of who you are, you just haven’t been able to successfully express it yet! Also I think while it’s nice for people around you telling you you’re fine and you don’t need to lose weight, but you have decide for yourself. In my case, I had people telling me I was tiny, but when I looked at my outfit photos, I knew that I needed to lose weight. So I did! I’ve lost 5kg so far and can really tell the difference. Still hoping to lose another 5 :D Good luck with yours! I know you’ll get to where you want to go!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much you so understand! <3
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your weight loss, im working hard on it too. I noticed quite often people who tell me i dont need to loose weight are the ones who need to loose weight > . <
I feel the exact same way. Sort of. I'll look at all these girls online, looking stunning in their effortlessly thrown together ensemble. I love it, so the next morning I try it out. Before I leave to school though, I think twice and change into something that's more safe and more me, like jeans and a shirt. I know that if I had worn the outfit, there's a chance I would've felt uncomfortable. (And in these cases, I pack a pair of jeans in my bag) It's odd, because I don't know if it's just me not having the confidence or me realizing that is really is /not me/.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my body wasn't really made for UO of F21 u.u; no matter the sizes they have.
The same with gyaru-type stuff. I legitimately love the culture and fashion (makeup/lashes/lenses, etc), but sometimes I think maybe I'm just trying too hard. I'm not Asian. Am I trying to look Asian? I don't feel like it. I don't know, it's hard to explain.
Sorry for the massive monologue! x3 I love your blog, and I hope the both of us can find our awkward selves under this massive pile of gorgeous trends!
<3
Hopefully this inspires you a little bit, but it doesn't matter what other people think of you, it's more about what you are comfortable with. Congratulations on taking the first step, getting into the mindset that you will no longer settle to be contained within an expectation of what you will dress like and who you will be.
ReplyDeleteI think the next step is slowly changing one thing at a time. You wear jeans and a tee every day, tomorrow wear a fancier top or something, or pastel jeans. Then when you're happy and comfortable in your slightly more outlandish hipster style (I'm joking here btw xD) take another step, bleach your hair a little lighter or something. Bleaching takes forever to do anyway, so you can slowly get accustomed to the changes, then finally dye it a wonderful pastel colour.
Whatever you do though, take it in steps that you're comfortable with, but don't be ashamed to walk out that door a little bolder than you did yesterday. ^^ I hope that you are eventually, who you once wished you were. :]
Thank you so much for the support and advice! :)
ReplyDelete